shonagonchan

So a couple have things have gone on, some good, some bad, some still up in the air.

I'll start with the bad first, because it's what's on my mind. HitRECord, you know, is a nice little community - okay, it's really not so little, but you do get to know some folks. One of my pals there is a gal named Inky. She lives in Hawai'i and for a while we were working on some poetry translations on the site. Then she went away for a long trip, but had to cut her trip short because her boyfriend Niko (Honeyboy on HR) was very ill. Cancer at only 30, unable to get chemo due to a heart condition.

Inky and Honeyboy went traveling around the islands of Hawai'i together for a few short months. During their trip, they were taking photos, writing, tweeting, and exchanging packages of goodies and trinkets with other HitRECorders. Every Friday was Aloha Friday, where we would all send songs to each other on Twitter. Niko sent lots of my favorite music; I'd have fun identifying the singers and bands.

Just last week I went out and bought all sorts of Long Island goodies to send to them: local chocolates, trinkets, and some local honey for Honeyboy. I didn't have a box to send it in; figured I'd get to the store last Friday and bring it to the post office.

But Thursday night, Inky posted to let us all know that Niko had passed on Wednesday evening. She sent his last photo from his phone to his Twitter: a picture of the sunset out his window, titled "Goodbye Sun."

So everyone is heartbroken, and I have this package of stuff sitting here, addressed to both of them, and I don't know if I should still send it.

I came home from work today to find two packages had arrived. One was the HitRECord book that two of my writings made it into.

The other package is from Inky and Niko. It has a card from them. "Sending you lots of aloha and hugs and kisses, XOXO Honeyboy," and "Lots of love to you! XO Inky" They must have put it in the mail that Wednesday. And I just don't know what to do with myself over this. I think I should send the package anyway.

That was the most important, and of course the worst, thing that went on this week. Me, I can feel sad and cry and go about my business, but I know that his family and friends don't have that luxury today. My week still has some happiness in it. I get that.

Some of my happiness this week is, as I mentioned, getting that book in my hands. It's gorgeous, so much better than I thought it would be. The whole intro by Joe is about patriarchy and sexism, and why he changed the ending to the story. The second "intro" is by his Mom, which details the War On Women and why books like this are necessary. She talks for a while about the terrifying bills that are being put on the table (and some passed, barring women from testifying,) and then says,



My two pieces are in here, surrounded by beautiful art. Here's the funny thing: the first one is on page 39 and the second one is on page 45. I have a thing about numbers adding up to 3 and 9 so I'm like "OMFG IT'S A SIGN."

I also finished up the revisions requested by that one rad agent. I "finished" them, I should say, and then I stressed and stressed, and hemmed and hawed and fussed and revised again, and then once again. And then, yesterday, I sent them out. Now, I'm convinced that I only made it worse. I could only have screwed it up more. I just don't know what to do sometimes, who to listen to!

But also, a few agents held a "Twitter Pitch" contest, which is what it sounds like. You reduce your novel to 135 characters (leaving room for the tag,) and pitch to them via Twitter. Well, the one agent who showed a little interest in mine has a thing against stories with a time travel element. BUT, she also said it sounded cool anyway, and I could go ahead and query her to give her more info. I know it's not the kind of thing she represents, but something must have sounded kind of good for her to say that! So I figured, why not? And queried her, too. Can't hurt. :)

I am running out of agents to query, though. I'm getting a few nibbles and a few "You're good, but I'm not in love with this." What if no one falls "in love" with it? Then, I guess, I shelf it, start up with some of my other books and such. Get one of those to sell. Then maybe someone will be like "Do you have any trunk manuscripts?" Haha, yeah. But I don't want this to be from the trunk. It's my favorite.

So that's more or less what's been going on, aside from the stuff I'm going to put in the locked post. Today is the first really hot hot day, and my first day in shorts (once I came home from work, that is.) About two weeks ago I fixed the aviary door. I just need to put another latch on the bottom, just to be on the safe side (didn't need one for ten years, but I'm not going to make that mistake again,) and then hose it out, set it up, and put my twelve bastard starlings into it. Will probably do that tomorrow. Then maybe I'll get my winter clothes put away. I did that much earlier last year, I think; maybe two weeks earlier. But it's been super chilly this month.

Oh, in the meantime, hey. You can order this gorgeous FEMINIST retelling of a fairy tale, with poetry, stories, thoughts, essays and really beautiful art. Scroll down to the $20 one. ^_^

Today was glorious (if still COLD,) and I got to have lunch in town with The Empress, Lady Chrysanthemum, and Snarklit. We were to celebrating Empress's graduation, and we went to the same little place that Chrysanthemum and I went to over the winter. I had to leave the dogs of course, which was nerve-wracking, but my cousin stopped by here to check on them while I was out.

The restaurant is cute, but the parking situation is abysmal and I practically had to park in Nassau and walk the rest of the way. Here's a little moment that I liked: As I walked toward the restaurant, a dude was walking toward me, maybe a few years younger than me or thereabouts. I smiled at him because I felt like it and he tipped a pretend hat and said, "Good afternoon, Miss. How are you?" I told him "Fine, thanks; have a great day." The whole thing with the fake hat tip was so cute, and I was really pleased.

Anyway. I told Empress I'd stand outside and flag her down. While I was standing there, looking at my messages, some guy drove past and yelled "HEYYYYY!" I mean really? What is that supposed to accomplish? I looked up to give him a stink eye, just in time to see him rear-end the person in front of him. LOL dumbass.
Empress drive by about a minute later, and I said I'd show her a parking spot. So she was driving down the road and I was running down the opposite side of the road to show her to a place. A woman behind her kept standing on the horn (I mean, she could have gone around really easily,) and I looked over to see what was going on and the woman yelled at me, "MIND YOUR BUSINESS."

Thanks, Riverhead.

By the time we all got parked, they had given away our reserved table outside. WTF.

But we went inside and ordered, and talked about chili peppers that can kill you, duriens, monk-hood, travel, and eventually of course, Kung Fu. Chrysanthemum gave us each these little, knitted Kung Fu keychains that she'd picked up in Bangkok. Awesome.

We ate our lunches and yammered on for an hour or so before going down to the river to walk around and take some photos.

( Lunch and Peconic River )

After a while we walked back to freaking Nassau pretty much to get to our cars. I was home by around 3.

I took the dogs outside and I had the weirdest feeling of like, some strange kind of peace, mixed in with a touch of melancholy, I can't even describe it. I took a pic of these flowers in my yard:



The only time I can remember this specific feeling was August 6th 2006 after a Hula show that I did once. And the day was kind of terrible really; I was unhappy with the show, the people who hired me, how I was treated and everything. Yet that day when I came home, I remember exactly feeling that totally serene and strangely also melancholy feeling.

But it's a good feeling, that's the weirdest part.

And it was immediately followed by a sense of panic: "It's so nice today. Something bad is bound to happen." Which is ridiculous and I promised myself I wasn't going to let anxiety backtalk me like that anymore. Let's see if I can keep that promise.

Work tomorrow, then Mother's Day festivities probably with cousins and Mom and possibly aunt, and then on Monday after work I think I'm going with CeceAnn to see Avengers. CeceAnn hasn't been to the movies since The Birdcage, not even kidding. 1996. That's like a tragedy. Tuesday, work and Kung Fu and then etc.

Good times, though.

ffs and Haku had ANOTHER seizure this morning at 7:20. The nose trick didn't work this time, either. I hate clusters like this. This is about the same pattern as in March. Then it was at 11:50 PM and then 6:45 AM. This time it was around 12:50 AM and then 7:20 AM. Those are kind of close in time. I really wonder what the trigger is.

gdi Haku just had a seizure. It's only 11 days since the last one. I was hoping for a much longer time than that. But again, I did that point at the ti of his nose and that seemed to stop it. This one was really short in terms of the really intense part. After that (about 30 seconds,) he just sort of lay there, a little twitchy. Now he's whiney and upset, as he always is for a few hours after.

I kind of had a feeling because he was wandering around a little before. He doesn't do that all the time before a seizure, but there's also a thunderstorm on the way, so who knows.

I just hope we can get a longer non-seizure stretch the next time.

Today I got my first babies of the season. And guess what they are? Yes, a nest of starlings! Shocking. Usually it's either three or five. This time it's four. And as always, there's one teeny one that the rest of them sit on, who has to be coaxed to eat.

I can't believe this is my thirteenth season with this. Time sucks.

Other than that, let's see. The Red Riding Hood book comes out on the 15th. That's my second time being published, both in HitRECord books. I'm excited about that, and I can add it to future query letters. Right now you can't order the book on its own (you need a subscription) but soon, you'll be able to get it by itself. That's when I'm going to pick up a copy, maybe two. ^_^ Just 'cause.

Last night I went out with Glassworker and we saw The Avengers. Well actually, first we watched Thor at my house (and I ate a slice of pizza and an entire box of girl scout cookies) and then we went out to the movies (where I ate a pint of ice cream and half a box of After-Eights. Fabulous.) But I really liked The Avengers. It was woman-friendly (only a few female characters, but were treated as human and as part of the team, AND just as badass if not moreso than the men – thank you again Joss Whedon,) and there were some genuinely hilarious parts. Quite a few times, we were both laughing pretty hard.

I actually have a lot more news than this, but it's for a locked post.

Last night I had a dream that there was a movie being filmed in my backyard. But it wasn't this back yard, it was my childhood one, the way it looked way back then.

So I ran outside to see if I could be an extra or something, and found that it was a movie starring Tom Hardy and Charlotte Riley. I was like "OMG, I love them! I have to be a part of this." So I went up to Tom Hardy and I was like "So since you're all filming on my property, maybe I can get to be in the movie. What is it all about?"

He told me it was a scary film about a psycho killer, and he was playing the part of the killer. He said he was sad because at the end he had to kill Charlotte Riley, but that's the sort of thing you have to do when you're acting.

I said, "Well maybe I can be an extra that you kill or something?"

He agreed. So we started filming and I was directed (by some random director) to run around the side of the house while he chased me, then get myself cornered by the fence, get stabbed, and play dead. So that's what I did, I ran away, he chased (and I was actually pretty scared,) but then before he stabbed me with a big kitchen knife, I was like "Wait, wait. This isn't right. I would totally fight back. I mean look: you do martial arts, I do martial arts. We would definitely end up wrestling for the knife."

He said, "So we would."

Much to my delight, we started wrestling for the kitchen knife. Of course I knew I wasn't really supposed to win, so I was just kind of "eeek! Oh my!" and enjoying the whole thing. I kept trying to stick my face close to his and he whispered "What are you doing?" and I said "Oh, I'm just trying to head-butt you, that's all. Because that's what I would do."

Then the director said cut, and we had to do a take where he stabbed me. It turned out that he just kind of poked me with the tip of the knife, and I was supposed to fall backwards. So I did a little flailing to be dramatic first. Then I had to just lie there and play dead. It was tough to not blink.

Tom Hardy got a great big garbage bag and started to stuff me into it. Even this was delightful. Then he threw me over his shoulder and carried me into some kind of school building, where he was going to throw me into a bin with a bunch of other dead folks. But before he got to, Charlotte Riley was supposed to stop him.

In the dream, she was teeny-tiny, like five-foot-nothing. She was so cute and I was like, "I wish he didn't have to stab her!" But even as I was thinking that, I was also thinking, "Maybe if I came back to life, he would have to wrestle with me again," and I started trying to subtly wiggle my way out of the plastic bag. It was tough going, and my shirt started to ride up and I thought, "Oh no! I wouldn't want anyone to see my goodies!"

Then my stupid alarm went off. :/

This is much better than the dream I had two nights ago, where I had this baby and it was nothing more than a hand. I was like "How the hell am I supposed to feed it?" I kept trying to sit it on my shoulder and it kept falling off. It was so upsetting.

I've always kind of liked editing, revising, stuff like that, on stuff I've written. That's because I like having written things, and I honestly like re-reading my own nonsense. I amuse myself.

But there's something to be said, an extra special *ZING* to revising a manuscript, when you're doing it because a literary agent said, "This is good enough for a second chance, if you'd revise it."

I know that it's no guarantee that said agent will go, "OMG this is now exactly what I want." This happens a lot, I get that. You can revise till the cows come home and you put them in the barn and then milk them the next day and brush them down and feed them and pet their noses, and after all of that, said agent can say, "Sorry, I'm still not in love with it."

I get that, I really do! It's just that, the encouragement means so much. Just knowing "this is good enough stuff for another look" is like, soul-humpingly good.

I AM HAPPY.

Yesterday, it turned out that we didn't end up going to dinner after work. So I picked up Haku and came home. Still, it was our receptionist's last day and I was very down in the dumps about that. I've had a lot of fun working with her.

You know what I forgot to mention, Sano's been off pred since last Saturday. That's awesome. For future reference: yes he is still ravenous, and yes he's throwing up some. That's what happens. I just always like to keep track of things like this to see if they match up year to year.

Oh my god, the weather has been down to freezing. I hate that, it's ridiculous. I already put most of my plants outside for the season. Hello, IT IS ALMOST MAY. What is this crap, and we didn't even really have a winter. I've said this before and all, but it's been like, 35-40 degrees since October. SUCH a bitch.

And since we didn't have a winter, the bugs are insane. Okay, so in the past I've had a problem with ants, since I live on the ground floor. They're always all over the floor, and last year they were in my bathroom, too. They took over my jade tree and got into a few other potted plants. This year, I spent an entire day submerging the plants to get rid of them, and trying to drown the queen (if that's even possible. Who the eff knows? Maybe she holds her breath.) Only a few days later, the ants were back. But that was nothing compared to today.

Today, I went to change the cartridge on my water filter that attaches to the faucet. I unscrewed it, and hundreds of ants poured out. OF MY WATER FILTER. WHICH I HAVE BEEN USING. It looked like they'd been in the aerated spaces and not the water spaces, otherwise they would have been coming out in the water, and they probably would have drowned, right? At any rate, I was horror-film screaming in my mind. I boiled water and submerged the entire filter. Then, for two hours I had to keep cleaning it over and over again, because you can't take the damned thing apart; all those tiny little holes, and no way to clean inside of it at all. I just kept dunking it under water and shaking it out. For TWO HOURS I did this, and more and more dead ants just kept coming out. So I did it until everything was out, and then I boiled it again.

So, awesome, right, that's all done with and they're all gone. New filter, everything should be fine, right? BUT NO. About an hour later, I saw another ant crawling on the faucet again, and then another, and another, like they were trying to get back in there. OMG, for effing what? I killed every last goddamn one, disinfected, nothing left. It's not like there's food around there or anything, it's an effing water faucet.

I just don't know wtf to do about these ants. What I do know is that no ant will ever receive quarter from me again. I'll destroy them all without mercy. This is my destiny.

No, but really, I was so horrified and I'll probably have nightmares about it tonight.

And while we're on the subject of nightmares, I started watching Lost (I know, I'm what, seven years late on this?) and the whole plane crash thing gave me some mad plane crash nightmares, too. The show is interesting—so far it's giving me more thoughts than feels—but I can't really get interested in too many of the characters. I like Sayid, Hurley, and Locke. That's about it. Everyone else I kind of want to punch so far.

That aside, I've been revising the manuscript writing other stuff instead (I know, I know,) and I did a few little things for HitRECord, like a ridiculous porn parody that people are getting a kick out of – and I find myself so damn funny, I just can't get over it. Going for walks and jogs with the dogs, going to work, Kung Fu, doing laundry, killing ants. That's about it. So exciting right now, I don't know how anyone can even stand reading about it without biting their fingernails clean off in suspense.

Just sit there and try to cope with how riveting my life is right now.

This seizure came at 8:15 this morning. That's five and a half weeks since the last one, which isn't too bad I guess. The sucky thing is that I have to work today, and I was hoping to be able to test the waters and leave him alone for a little while. But, we're having a dinner at work to say farewell to our receptionist (so sad about that because I really like the folks I currently work with,) so I don't know how late I'll be. So with this going on, Haku has to spend the day at the vets. Bleh.

The interesting thing is that Genius Vet showed me a GV point on dogs that I couldn't find. (On people it's below the nose. Dogs don't really have a below the nose, so on them it's the tip of the nose.) So I put my finger on the GV point on the tip of his nose during the seizure, and he sneezed, and stopped seizuring. He wasn't awake for about a minute after that, but at least it stopped a little. I'll have to remember that for the next time.

Well, and that's that, and now I'm off to work in a bit, and then out to dinner. I just wish it wasn't a sad dinner. (Lots of changes at work.)

I've been doing lots of yardwork this year on my days off. This is the first year since Dad that I've actually made an effort to make things nice again out there. I kind of had a block against it for a while – I guess because Dad would always lend me the gardening tools, help me set things up, stuff like that. But this year, maybe it's a combination of having a little pool again, and of things having looked like total hell for the last few years (and the broken aviary, stuff like that,) that's making me want to tidy up and Have Nice Things again.

( Here are some springtime photos: )

As you can see, both dogs are up and running again (*knock on wood!*)

Last night at Kung Fu, we did some staff drills. The *clack clack clack* sound of the staffs hitting against each other is pleasing. I know it's a martial art, but it sounds friendly. I was partnering with Snarklit.



Empress came hobbling on by (she sprained her ankle) and the three of us started talking about maybe doing a group outing or something, going for lunch and kayaking when Lady Chrysanthemum gets back.

Apart from that, there is some stuff going on in other aspects of life which I will eventually need to address in some locked posts.

Meanwhile, here are some phrases that people searched when they found this LJ:

tricks to a great fa'arapu - Keep your feet super close together. Bend your knees. When walking, go up on your toes. PRACTICE. :)

she looked at him again and smiled as she undid the buttons of his shirt. he felt her doughy fingers on him - Hmm, that is a part of my ms that I posted for a meme that a literary agent sent around. That was fun, but who is googling my phrase? O_O

who is the father of kaumakaiwa kanakaole - Kaipo Frias? I think?

silmaryn for dogs - It's good stuff, but expensive if you get it from the vet. I'm not sure where else to get it, BUT, if the liver problem is not acute, then straight up milk thistle can help. :)

i'm stuck in my bra - O_O I'm sorry to hear that. This happened to me once, when I had to wear a halter heart monitor.

hypochondria als ms fears - I went through this recently. If you want to talk, send me a message. :)

how long does milk thistle take to work - That depends on what the issue is, the severity, your age, size, and the dose. But often you can get results in a few weeks.

sifu sihing sije - Your training instructor (translates to "uncle," actually,) your elder training brother, and your elder training sister.

ewan mcgregor pillow penis - I'd sleep on it!

hesher std - I thought so, too!

"illusionary crime against sephiroth" - I always liked how Cloud was the only one who acknowledged that Sephiroth was actually a victim, as well as a villain.

why does my cornea peel - Maybe your eyes are dry?

Anyway, I hope at least a few of you found what you were looking for. That's nice when that happens, isn't it?